Stache Pros, by Genny M:
- You can play hide-and-go seek with your fingertips.
- They’re a perfect storage space for crumbs and other savory treats you’d like to save for a more intimate moments.
- You can whip out your fancy moustache comb and start grooming yourself in the middle of an important meeting and immediately be offered a promotion and company car.
- You can get away with saying stuff like “indubitably” and “Jarvis, get my monocle, I want to read this morning’s London Times.”
- It’s a sure-fire way to scare girls into going out with you. Because let’s just face it, moustaches give a certain ‘convicted sex offender’ look to anyone who sports them…which, in the dating world, is something you definitely want to advertise.
- Women and children cross the street to avoid brushing past you.
- When getting freaky in the sheets your woman will undoubtedly fantasize about Tom Selleck, because he is the only man on Earth that can wear a strip of hair over his lip and still look sexy.
- On a -30 degree day your inevitable nose drippings will create a lovely design of boogersicles dangling from your upper lip.
- t looks like your eyebrows had a child and then made your lips babysit.
